Struggling

In short and simple...I'm just not that into it right now. That is the exercise/weight/train/run thing. I still have high hopes and lofty ambitions but the drive is gone and my motivation ... well that has flown the coop to.

My hub called today with the results of his physical and while he is in good health the doctor says he needs to eat more fish = less red meat and more greens. With winter being here, I turn to cooking more red meat and chicken and less salad stuff. Granted we have fairly balanced meals meats/veggies/bread, we don't eat much sea food. By the time spring comes around we are ready for the later evenings, more outside food (i.e. grilling) and plenty more salad inventions. With the boost of sunlight and warm weather we become more active and it generally evens out.

I guess with this news and my lack of energy we will be starting the trend early. I guess I will be starting my search for fun and exciting recipies now and hopefully things will get back on track.

Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Not a quitter...

Well today is a down day. I made it home from work today just exhausted. It's wednesday, typically my day to do step, however I decided to just head home and hit the treadmill. Not sure why today is so exhausting, maybe I just hit a low point mid-afternoon because all of the sudden I was tired and I hadn't been all day.

Anyhow, I got home and spent some time with my kids trying to work up the energy (convience myself) to get on the treadmill. 45 minutes later I made myself start walking. 2 miles later I'm still tired and the kids need me so I stop. Truth be told, I struggled to walk the second mile, want to quit but I didn't. I didn't make my goal of 3 miles today but hopefully tomorrow will be better. I did manage to walk 3mi yesterday so I'm happy with the progress.


This is my start to focusing on exercising...the diet hasn't been great (I had 3 cokes today) and nothing diet...why, well not really sure, could blame it on hormones, but I guess basically it's just because I'm tired and drinking a dr. pepper or having dessert makes me feel better. We'll see if tomorrow is any better than today.

The mirror lies...

Who is this person starring back at me each day I look in the mirror? Obviously it cannot be me, at least not the me I see in the photographs hanging from my wall...or can it? Is it really possible to see the me that I would like to be without actually seeing me for who I am and what I really look like?

I am 3mths post baby today and I am 6lbs from my pre-baby weight. I feel like I am moving in the right direction each time I step on the scale and notice it has dropped, I look in the mirror (fully dressed) and think, yep, making progress-looking better, I even notice each time I put on something from my closet and it fits a little looser, yet when I look at the photos hanging on my wall, drop by to pick up the professional pics of me and my baby, or even take a quick snap with the digital camera to update a profile pic I notice the excess "chub" around my face or my mid section.

I started taking a step aerobics class at least once a week (shooting for 2x a week just don't always make it) and when I look at myself in the full length mirrors while wearing an oversized T-shirt I think "yeah, I don't look that bad at all" - but the next time I get to class and I am actually wearing a 'form fitting' aerobic outfit I think "ewe, that isn't supposed to jiggle like that."

So which is it...flabby fattie or fake front? Perhaps both, I'm inclined to believe the photos as the real deal only because my mental perception cannot play tricks on those images. Maybe that is why I have only half heartedly been putting effort in with regards to by workout regeme. I know I need to push myself but sometimes I believe I'm already making strides so if I slip it's ok - not entirely true when I look at the photos.

Today is a new day and I've decided that the mirrors lie and that I need to focus on the me I want to be...I am going to use these to my advantage in order to keep alive the vision of "what I want to look like" and then I'll use the photos as a guide to see how close I've gotten or how far I still need to go.

I will get there, it's not going to be easy, but I will get there!