Learning to love...

...the run.

I haven't been here in quite sometime, but I'm dusting off the cover, turning the page and starting again.  Seven years ago I made the decision to run my very first (and only) full marathon.  26.2 miles seemed like such a daunting task that I penned my first entry here in hopes of marking my journey, of learning what did and didn't work for me and most of all, holding myself accountable. 

December 6, 2008 I completed the first running goal. 26.2 miles of excitement, fear, pain, mental struggle, elation and sadness marked that journey over the course of 6 hours.  I won't recount that story, but suffice it to say running and I have had a difficult love affair with running since that day.

I have run many races over the course of the last 7 years.

• Mud Runs
• Wine Races
• 1/2 Marathons
• 10Ks
• 5Ks
• Triathalon

But I have never run another 26.2 and I can honestly say that I do not have a desire to.  Part of me feels like a fraud...like an imposter because of it.  Regardless of how many miles I run, how many medals I hang on my wall, how many race bib's I tuck away, there will always be the elusive marathon that changed the way I view running, training and racing.

For all the work and effort I put into it and for all that I failed to attain in my misguided perception of beginning, I must admit that a passion for running and racing was planted and has continued to grow.  I have spent the bulk of my time - not focused on the act of running for sport, but rather for the race day excitement.  There is nothing wrong with this, however it is time I face my fear and stop running (pun intended). 

No, I do not mean I am hanging up my sneakers.  Instead I am committing to focus on the run and getting back to basics.  2016 is about accepting me for who I am and determining to be better tomorrow than I am today.  For me this means clearing the running slate and improving from January to December. 

Commitment
Focus
Determination

The only way to achieve progress is one step at a time...

Finding my way back

According to blogger I haven't posted here since 2010 and I can say that it does feel that way.  I haven't been inactive, however I have been silent as I've been searching for me.  I am not quite sure I can say I've "Found" myself, however I am finding that through whatever struggles I have I enjoy the physical exertion that comes with getting out and moving.  There is something mind clearing in the silence of running or walking - in the effort and the dedication it takes to commit to the activity of your choice. 

For me, I used to enjoy running...these days running is effort.  I enjoy being outside and I hope that one day I get back to the point where I enjoy running, but for now, I take it one day at a time and let myself absorb all the little things about the activity that I tend to overlook when I'm focused on the outcome.

• Sights
• Smells
• Sounds

When I was training I was focused on the end goal, be it a certain time or a set distance, there came a point where I had to push myself to reach whatever I was aiming for.  I'm not saying this is a bad thing, because I think if we ever want to get better then these are a necessary part of what we go through.  What I'm saying is that in this process I found that I was pushing much more that I was enjoying the simplicity of what I was doing.  Simplicity in the colors of the sun setting in the horizon, the birds chirping on a rail in the cool morning air, the sound of each step as it carries you down the pavement, the smell of the air after the rain ... the things no gym can ever provide. 

So as I start back down this path, I leave you with this...

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."
-John Bingham

Got Stress?

Apparently I do...at least according to my hubs. I haven't been around this blog for some time now, but perhaps it is time to revisit the reasons behind why I actually started it in the first place.

I will admit that when the hubs asked me "have you thought about running again?" I was a little unhappy with the question. My first thought immediately went to "Why, do you think I'm fat?" but even before the words left my mouth, I already had my answer. No - he was not trying to subtly tell me that he thought I needed to get out and lose some weight, but infact he was pointing out a fact that I had debated previously. Running seemed to ease some type of stress for me.

It helped keep me centered, it helped me find patience when dealing with lifes up's and downs, it helped me ... find me when I was searching for something so desperately to hold on to. I found a race and I ran it and then I felt defeat because it was never really about the race. It was about finding something more and at the end of the race ... there was only a finish line.

I walked away and while I've found meaning in my life that has taken much of my time, along with this has come much stress. I admit the running I did was a high somedays and others I struggled thru my demons. Perhaps, I should take a step back into this world I gave up on so easily and find my stride once again.

drum roll.....

Tomorrow is the big day! It is finally here and it's set to be a perfect day to run.

It's been a good week and I am excited...picked up my race packet, visited the expo (a bit disappointed) and will be getting everything ready for an early start tomorrow.

It should be a little chilly at the start(expected 38 degrees) but warming up by the finish - high about 50.

So if your in the Memphis Area and see a blonde girl dressed in pink (amongst the crowd of 14,000) wave and I'll wave back!

The Wall

4am - the beep beep beep beacons me to get out of bed, but I do not move. 15 miles is my plan, but my head is not in it. 15 miles is on the schedule, but my heart is not in it so I steel a few more hours promising to do it when the sun comes up.

8am - 4 more hours have passed and neither my head nor my heart are any closer to being in it, but I know I must. "It is only 15 miles" I tell myself, "You can do this" I try to convince myself. I lace up my shoes, strap on my heart monitor and grab the iPod, certain some tunes will help drown out the thoughts of negativity, but it is dead.

Shit! How can I run without my music? I'm struggling now and I haven't even left...will I be able to make it? I decide to go - I'm tough. I'm hard core. I don't need sissy music to motivate me - I am a runner!

Mile one passes and I want to turn back. Thoughts keep swirling thru my head, the sound of my breathing is not a wanted distraction...it just makes me tired. Each step I take I hear it closing the distance between us and yet there is nothing I can do to out run it.

I keep moving forward and pray I find my groove soon, miles 2 and 3 tick by and I think 'only 12 more to go' but that is no comfort. My heart is beating fast and I cannot catch my breath, sweat is building on my brow. I hear it call my name but I cannot stop for fear it will catch me.

"Keep going" I command of my feet "Just keep moving and it will be over soon."

The sun is shining brightly - a beautiful day for a run. A cool breeze rustling the leaves above my head, a playful squirrel bouncing between the trees and the sound of my feet hitting the pavement, but none of this can out do the dark and clammy feeling it brings. Miles 4 and 5 and 6 are a stretch and finally I come face to face with it - the demon that chases me...

The Wall.

I find myself facing that moment where I quite and give in, go home, give up or I struggle to finish because I want to. Drive - Desire - Dedication to complete what I started are on the other side of it and right now I don't know how to get past it. Tears sting my eyes because I feel I'm defeated but not yet ready to accept this as the final outcome - so I walk.

I walk and walk. I watch the seconds tick by and the minutes add up until I can again move my feet faster. I've done this before - why not today? I wrestle with this thought internally. I fight the desire to quit with my will to finish.

I think.
And Think.
And Think some more.

I realize that as runners, we all face this sometime. Despite what I've done in the past - today is different. I can come up with all kinds of reasons why - I'm tired, my foot hurts, my head hurts, I'm not well hydrated, I'm PMSing - but they are just excuses and there are too many too count. No one is there to stop me from quiting, no one but the wall in my head and I decide that I will not let it dictate my finish.

My run time that day might not have been anything to brag about, infact its more like something to bury deep in the recesses of my training log, but I finished. I know it's not the last day I will face the wall, but that day I managed to out run it and am stronger for it.

Just Running

It's been a while since I posted here. I haven't stopped training, but do you ever have one of those moments during your training when it all becomes so routine that it starts to seem a bit too mundane to post about?

For me, at least, that is how I feel. I can read other runners blogs and laugh at their witty insights or their profound knowledge into what makes a runner tick, but when I run I just kind of exist. There are rarely funny moments for me to share, it's not very often that I have some type of mental break thru where the world (or my world at least) makes sense and so I feel like when I come here it's always the same old story.

I came.

I saw.

I ran.

I am still in training.

Running is an escape for me. Not in a bad way, but it is a few minutes (or hours) to just be who ever I aspire to be. No one asking me for anything or limiting my ability to achieve anything because of bureaucratic red tape...nothing standing in my way except for myself.

In an essence - it is a moment of pure joy and fear all rolled up into one. Possibilities are endless, limits are met only when the body says it's "had enough" and dreams never fail to be big. During a run I can do almost anything - and I feel great. Give it a chance and that string of hope I hold on to will turn into the rope that I use to hang myself when the day arrives to face the marathon head on and I fail to obtain what I set out to achieve. It's that paralyzing fear that sets in when my runners high wears off.

So what do I do? Do I come here and repeat day in and day out...I run therefore I am? Do I tell you my fears and hope that secretly I am not alone in this or do I do nothing? Perhaps I will do all three - most likely this will be my outcome, but for now...I'm going to just run.

What will you do?

Can't Keep Me Down

***Cross posted at CafeKel***

I've been training for the St. Jude Marathon and this past weekend I had a realization...I found a small crack in my plan for 'marathon domination' hehe

It's disheartening to wake up one day and realize my plan is flawed.

This past weekend I was supposed to run a 20mi long run - I get up and meet my running partner at o' dark thirty and away we go. It was a nice run, cool and not too humid, conversation flowed easily and the pace was comfortable. Nothing too out of the ordinary. 12 miles later(yes I shortened the run some), I get back to my car and realize me feet hurt, one more than the other. I don't think much about it - my feet are usually tired after a run. By the time I get home though (after a stop at the store for groceries) my left foot is really hurting, so I ask the hub about it.

Who better to ask than the man who is supposed to care so much about me (and the fact that he trained hard and has a degree in kinesiology doesn't hurt either) this man proceeds to tell me, something is hurt. GREAT - not what I wanted to hear, but I'm sure it's minor, nothing to worry about, we ice it and go on about the day. Monday comes and I head to practice, I run an easy 6 miles, my foot hurts still, but I manage thru the pain. Once again, I complain to the hub and as we ice it, he convinces me to visit the dr.

This is one of the joys of having a dr. at my disposal because all I have to do is call, make an appointment and I'm in. For minor issues, dr. appointments are a breeze - if its anything major...trust me, the government is going to run you thru the loops before they treat you outside their facility.

For me, I call, make an appointment, show up 24 hrs later, get x-rays and wait for the dr. to look at them. In all of 30 min the dr tells me that 'while he cannot see any problems NOW, that does not mean there are not stress problems waiting and I should stay off it for 3 weeks.'

HAHAHA

Are you serious? It's just a foot and if my x-ray says I'm good, then obviously I must be good, I think the dr. is crazy and decide I am going to play it by ear.

All this is fine except for that brief moment, while I was sitting there waiting for him to come tell me about the x-ray, I thought there might be something wrong that would get in the way of achieving this goal and I was sad. Just for a brief moment I saw what I wanted go up in smoke and it was hard to think I wouldn't see it come to fruition. I, however, was lucky enough that there was nothing major wrong, but not everyone is.

Life is just as random as an injury...one moment we are cruising along with our eye on the prize when something jumps out and derails us. It is easy for me to become so narrow sighted that I don't see anything else around...perhaps this was my wake up call to say "Hey - I'm still here, remember me? LIFE? Go for the goal, but don't forget, it can all change in the blink of an eye." For a brief moment, I was superhuman and nothing could stop me then just as quickly, I was a mere human who had limits.

I can't say I'm ready to be human yet...I still kind of like the sound of SuperKel...does anyone have that taken yet?

What battles do you fight when aspiring to be superhuman?

Getting back on track

Without jinxing it, I'm going to say I think my running funk is on it's way out the door. I won't say it is completely gone yet (I still think twice about going out for a run) but I am proud to announce that I did get all 3 runs in last week.

YIPPY!!

That's right - I ran on Tuesday (7mi) Thursday (8mi) and again on Sunday (12mi). I cannot however take full credit for these runs since the hub did push me out the door on 2 of the 3, AND technically I was supposed to be doing 20 on Sunday, but my running partner only needed 12 and I didn't feel like finishing up by myself, so instead I went grocery shopping on my way home.

I know, bad me...I do think this was probably a good thing since I did have to get up at 3:30am Sunday morning, so I could make it across town for a 4:30 run start (hehe..see I am hard core runner woman...hear me roar!!!) Problem was when I got home, I noticed my left foot was really hurting.

I thought it might just be because I had gone running and I was tired, but the more I walked on it, the more the bones in my foot actually hurt. So here I was, complaining to the hub about my poor foot discussing shoes when he decided I need to ice my foot. For the next hour I alternated my feet from ice to hot water and I must admit, he was right, it felt better. (It's just one of the things I love about him...other times it's utterly annoying when he's right about these things).

So, now I'm not sure what to think about this foot thing. My shoes are not that old (bought them in July) but after looking at them I am pretty sure these are built for sprinters and probably not so much longer distances. I'm thinking I will stop by Foot locker tonight on my way to my evening run and pick up a new pair of shoes to see how they work out. I am guessing it is about time for a new pair so they will time just right in the 'break in cycle' for my marathon rather than be on the 'worn out' end by the time I get there.

So, Happy Monday...I know I promised a Garmin review (it's still coming)...stay tuned to see if I get my new shoes or not...

Wine-O in the Slacker Department

Yes, I realize it has been a very long time since I posted here. Yes, I also realize this blog is supposed to follow my training on my marathon....which is why I've been a bit absent.

*hangs head in shame*

I've been a slacker. There I said it. I'm not entirely sure how it happened but I'm betting it has something to do with a bottle of wine and a really crappy week at work.

All was going relatively well - not drinking, training, eating right was all coming along great. A few weeks ago I ran the longest distance to date (20 mi) and was feeling pretty motivated when it call kind of blew up around me. I woke up one day, went to work - had one of the crappiest days ever and I decided to forgo running (feeling confident that tomorrow would be better.) The next day was much the same and the next and the next. Then my husband (the wonderful man that he is) came home with a few (ok, more like 8) bottles of wine and boy, did it sound good when he offered me a glass. Sad to say...but it was all down hill from that point on.

The weekend rolled around and my long run was prolonged because I decided to drink and stay up late (20mi was not appealing at 4am.) The following week - I found more excuses not to go run despite my new gadget (Garmin Forerunner 305). I did manage to break out of my funk long enough to run 2 (yes, I said a measly 2 miles) and test this little bad boy out - but then it lay dormant once again. Next thing I knew the weekend was upon me, it was a holiday and I slacked off again for some more wine.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Monday should have been a running day - it wasn't.

Tuesday - the hub decided to put an end to my slacking and demanded I go out and run 10mi. Ok...I will - I said to him, but 20 minutes later I had not left. I was putting dinner together, working homework with my oldest and just simply busy. Once again he said "YOU NEED TO GO RUN" and this time he did not stop until I gave in.

Run - well I went out for a run and I ended up doing 3.5 miles before I was hot and thirsty and when I came home for a quick drink I decided I rather liked being in the comfort of my AC. He took one look at my new 'tracking device' and said..."You need to go back out and keep running."

But..But...but...

I knew he was right, but I didn't want to. After some more chiding about 'how much progress I was losing by not running - I went back out for another 3.5 mi. I'm hoping it is enough to break me out of my funk - I only have 12 weeks until my marathon and I can't really afford to slack. So I will be better at posting AND training.

Oh yeah, stay tuned I've got a review coming of my new toy - I am very excited about this gadget (even though I am still testing all the features!)

Anyone else find that running funk? How did you break out of it?

J. Lo Rant

Warning!!!! Nothing useful below this line...only my personal opinions and rantings

***********************************************************
Begin Rant

Ok, so I might not be the biggest Olympics fan out there, but come on!

Have you seen the article that touts J.LO as a triathlete?

My hat goes off to anyone who wants to compete in an endeavor such as a triathlon, marathon, or even a 5K if this is not typically your thing, but to think that just because your a celebrate does not mean that you should be considered "special" because you want to challenge yourself, nor does this mean you are of AMAZING athletic talent because you are going to do a triathlon shortly after giving birth.

AGH!!! She is such a diva.

You know, I remember when Katie Holmes ran the marathon and you know, she didn't boast about it during her training...seriously, if you want to run/train or whatever to raise money then fine...but don't act like you should be the focus just because you have a name!

***********************************
End Rant

One piece at a time

It's been a while since I posted here - I'm going to blame the hub and the olympics. hehe

I know, not running to watch the olympics = not an excuse, but it is not entirely true...the hub went out of town for a week at which I was left with the girls until he got back. I must admit, it was nice taking a break, but at the same time thinking just how bad this would hurt my training.

Anyhow, the hub returned Late last Monday evening and so I returned to my previous training schedule on Thursday. It was rather an easy return because we were having a cookout/social fest after our workout. I did 4 sets of hills and then enjoyed some good conversation. Running while smelling the grill going...not fun. Running while knowing it will be waiting for you at the end...lots of fun.

So Saturday rolls around and I am switching up a week to make up for the previous weeks lack of running - ere go 16 miles scheduled for saturday morning. I head out early and join the group and we start to run. It isn't bad, it's cool and drizzily(5am) and we are slowly getting into the groove of it when half the group decides to head back and meet up with the other group while the rest of us continue on with our long run.

There is a mixed group of runners all about a 19-24 mile range...myself the shortest at 16. We keep running and at about 12 decide to focus on how we would end up at 19 back where we needed to be and where I should break off from the group. I volunteer to go the extra miles (seriously how hard can a few more be when I've got to go 16?) HA

I was delusional...at mile 17 I think I'm crazy, at 18 I know I'm crazy and at 19 I'm beyond crazy...but we over shot it a bit and by the time all was said and done I had completed 20. Now, I know it is no 26.2 (and my day will come for that one) but it is such a feeling knowing that I did it. As you can tell ... this is my longest run to date and knowing I can go this far makes 26.2 seem pretty tiny. I know, I know...the extra 6.2 added on top will probably send me over the edge, but hey - what would life be like if we didn't challenge ourselves?

Facing The 26.2 Dragon

Every so often I mention the St. Jude Marathon I am going to run on December 6. (notice I said "GOING TO RUN" - positive affirmations)For the past 6 months or so I've been running in an effort to build up mileage and strength so that I can complete the 26.2 mile race without injury. In this process I have gotten a trainer to help with the preparation for the race because I have never done this before. Yesterday - he finally sent out the specific training schedules for the race and I have to admit that I was a little shocked and then a little frightened by what I received.

For some of you, the mere idea of ever running 26.2 miles for FUN - is delusional. I too used to be of this mindset. I usually joke my kids drove me to this point, but the truth is I enjoy running (most days.) When I first started training (8 weeks after my daughter was born) Walking 2 miles was hard, running 4 miles seemed difficult and 26.2 that was beyond psychotic at the time. Eventually, 2 miles turned into 4 which has turned into 10 and sometimes 12 miles. Running 6 is an easy thing now.

What's the problem?

Well, when I was reviewing the training schedule I noticed the 20 & 24 mile runs on there over the next few months and honestly, those numbers seem, well...a little frightening. I've been saying these numbers for a while now - telling myself "sure, whats a few more miles than what you've already been doing." Truth is, seeing them in black and white is a whole new ball game. Regardless of what I thought before, they seem to be looming ahead in all their massive glory.

I'm sure, much of it is still in my head and once I face this dragon it will seem much smaller than I imagined...it's just the getting there that is the hard part.

Have you ever wanted to do something only to find when you are facing it head on, it's more frightening than you imagined?

Early Bird gets the worm

Or in my case, a nice long run complete with sore feet from hell! :)

Yes, you read it right, I actually got out of bed early enough to make it across town for a long group fun. I was seriously contemplating going with the group that was headed out at 5am, but that would entail leaving my house at 4am and well, that just wasn't happening. I did make it to the 6 o'clock run though.

It was my first run with the group and I'm happy to say I did not die...actually I ran 1/1 instead of the normal 2/1 I run when I am running at home and had no issues keeping the pace. I got a 9 mi run in today and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm a little tired, but that is ok.

Actually I thought it was a great way to start the day. I got the run in and then I came home, destressed, painted my kitchen, juggled my 3 kids AND made some fresh salsa for my dinner. (Ok, so chips and salsa is not the healthiest dinner, but its what I have been craving)

All in all, its been a great end to a pretty good week. Hope yours ended with a bang!

Wanting

I posted earlier about being a heat sissy, which most of the time I feel like. The heat is stifling most days and I feel like I am choking on the air, but even with all of this I want to do it.

Does that sound strange?

I want to run. I want to be there. I want to push myself beyond my limits. I want to break free of my self imposed stipulations that say I cannot do this...I could never do this.

I feel that what I am doing now is nothing great...but I do have the belief that it will get me to where I want to be. No, I doubt I will be in the top 10 finishers (lofty goals for a 1st timer) but I can't help but dream the big dream when it comes to this marathon. Maybe it is because I am a first timer that I have so much hope...who knows.

I know that after a night like tonight where I ran 6 miles of hills...my feet are sore and my legs are tired. I was hot and covered in sweat. At the end of it I felt good though...I felt like I had accomplished what I set out to do and oddly enough - I am looking forward to Saturday.

Until then...happy trails to you!

Heat Sissy

In the words of Mark Higginbotham

Don't you be lame or iffy lest you become a heat sissy!

...in reference to the southern heat and training.

Fuel for running

It's friday, which means I should have run hills last night - BUT - I did not. Actually, I had a wonderful date night with the hub at which I showcased my 'sexy running' calves by wearing (and dancing in) my super cute, super cool heels! (I know this is about running, not awesome chick shoes!)

Anyhow, the problem with date night was that it was on my scheduled running night so I decided in advance to run on Wednesday instead. I got all ready to go and realized the hub had errands and would be gone for a few hours.

I waited.

I waited some more.

I fed the kids, skipped dinner, and waited.

Eventually he came home, but I was already aggrevated = stressed so I headed out the door to run at 8pm. It was getting dark...I don't usually run in the dark and the hub was a little curious as to why I was running. All I knew was that I needed to get away and run...run until I felt better.

So, I ran.

I didn't venture very far, I ran in my neighborhood around this little path of houses. It's about a mile and a half for the whole loop, I am not very far from home and can do it for as long or short as I want. My point (to this long story) is that I was stressed when I left and I ran, ran, ran, ran some more until it was all gone. It was like someone had charged up the batteries completely and I just felt like I could go forever.

I only ran about 6 miles because it was getting late and dark and the hub already thought I was crazy, but still...

Do certain things motivate your runs more than others?

The road goes on forever...

"...and the party never ends." Another set of lyrics to a Robert Earl Keen song (way back when) - but in the spirit of music this week, it sums up the start of training.

Many of you (myself included) train day in and day out to prepare for something. Some it's a marathon, some it's a triathalon, some it's just getting back to the basics of running...but either way, it is a continuous process.

Yesterday was Monday training session and true to form, when it was time to change clothes and head to the running site, I did not want to go. Remember, I had done a long run the day before and I could feel the soreness setting in, the heat from the day, my desire to crawl in bed (because my children are getting sick which makes for long nights) and blah blah blah. Anyhow, I went anyway (because that is what a good runner does) HA - and I actually enjoyed being there. It really helped ease some of my soreness and I'm feeling much better today.

I was tired afterwards, I'm tired today - but I will still be swimming after work. I might not want to, but as the song says...

The road goes on forever and the party never ends!

Back to Life...

"...Back to reality" are the words to a song originally released in 1989. These are the words that kept playing in my head as I headed out for a long run yesterday.

back to life back, to the present time
back from a fantasy

I had basically taken 2 weeks off from running, I had take one week off from pretty much everything (and played catch up with my alcohol consumption) and then I came back and started swimming but still no running. So starting out yesterday I had high hopes...yep, but it was short lived!

My first 15 minutes I felt refreshed and good. It's always hot and humid here, but yesterday was cloudy and on the verge of raining (it was sprinkling) and I thought it was a great time to run. I was starting to believe my time off had done me good when all of the sudden my brain kicked into overdrive and tried to convince me I was tired and sore and hot and blah, blah, blah.
That's right, 15 minutes into a LONG run, I began to think I didn't really want to do this and really just wanted to go back home.

I knew that if I could just get past this stage, it would get easier (it always does) problem is - I have to get there first! So what did I do to overcome this?? Hum...well...I talked to myself. I know this sounds retarded (you don't have to tell me that) but it worked. For the next 45 minutes I would remind myself (out loud so I could hear it) that I wanted this, I could do it, it didn't really hurt - it was all in my head. I went on and on (in 45 minutes you can get pretty creative.) Anyhow...it worked and I got thru it and was good to go for the next hour.

On a side note - yesterday I tried some 'tri-berry gu' - interesting stuff. I liked the way it made me feel, energy wise, however the taste, well, not so great. I'd squeeze it in my mouth and then choke it down with a drink of water. It's very GU'ish...thick and strange, kind of reminds me of GlUe...haha. I like the portability of it and like I mentioned - it does give me the additional boost when taking long runs so I won't complain too loudly. I just wish some of this energy stuff tasted better!

Does anybody have recommendations for energy products that have worked for them?

Official Marathon

I'm back!! I'd like to finish the sentence with "better than ever" but the truth is it's more like "slacker is me."

I had a wonderful time on vacation - I didn't do any runs and yes, I missed it. I was going to pack my running shoes, but decided I would leave them here to save space. A few days into my trip, however had me standing at the shoe store looking for a pair of running shoes. I looked and looked, but did not buy. I passed them over in favor of my well worn, already broken in ones at home and decided I would take a walk instead.

Walk, I did. Lots of it as well as swim, so I wasn't a complete sloth, just a partial one. I've been back home now for a few days and I have been swimming in the afternoon after work. I try to squeeze in 30-45 minutes of laps (I'm working my way up to an hour+) before I pick up the kids, it's been working ok except I feel VERY tired afterward. I mean, by the time I've worked an 8hr day, gone swimming for 30 min, picked up the kids, cooked dinner and gotten everybody settled for the evening all I want to do is grab a pillow and snooze away. I guess in my own way I am already in a marathon! HA

Anyhow, I thought I would go ahead and mention it is official. I have been half commited but as of today, I'm 100% in. A while back, I made the decision to run a marathon. Ok, not just run a marathon, but run the St. Jude Marathon held in Memphis in December. This has been my goal I've been planning for and training for. I've mentally challenged myself and physically been preparing. The problem?? Well, I hadn't committed, I hadn't officially registered for it - even though I had planned to, nothing was official.

Today it is. I guess part of me held onto the idea I would get hurt or maybe even I wouldn't go thru with it, but nah...I've paid my entry fee and I've signed on the dotted line and now I'm on the roster. Yep, it's official. On December 6, 2008 - I will run (notice I did not say attempt) my very first marathon. I may be worse off by the time I get to the finish line, but I will make it to the finish line...eventually!

Nothing like putting it all out there to hold myself accountable huh?!

Vacation

Thought I would drop a line to let you guys know that I am taking a few days off for vacation!

YAY!!

I talked it over with my coach and he said to just take it easy which means I won't be doing any 'real' runs this week. I've got mixed emotions about this. While I don't plan on planting my butt on the couch the entire time, I am terrified I will loose some of the ground I've made thus far. He has assured me it will be fine so I am willing to take his advice (it's been pretty sound thus far.)

So I will be back next week with regular updates as to how my training is going...we'll also see how taking a week off affects my overall feelings.

Hope everyone else has a great week!