Learning to love...

...the run.

I haven't been here in quite sometime, but I'm dusting off the cover, turning the page and starting again.  Seven years ago I made the decision to run my very first (and only) full marathon.  26.2 miles seemed like such a daunting task that I penned my first entry here in hopes of marking my journey, of learning what did and didn't work for me and most of all, holding myself accountable. 

December 6, 2008 I completed the first running goal. 26.2 miles of excitement, fear, pain, mental struggle, elation and sadness marked that journey over the course of 6 hours.  I won't recount that story, but suffice it to say running and I have had a difficult love affair with running since that day.

I have run many races over the course of the last 7 years.

• Mud Runs
• Wine Races
• 1/2 Marathons
• 10Ks
• 5Ks
• Triathalon

But I have never run another 26.2 and I can honestly say that I do not have a desire to.  Part of me feels like a fraud...like an imposter because of it.  Regardless of how many miles I run, how many medals I hang on my wall, how many race bib's I tuck away, there will always be the elusive marathon that changed the way I view running, training and racing.

For all the work and effort I put into it and for all that I failed to attain in my misguided perception of beginning, I must admit that a passion for running and racing was planted and has continued to grow.  I have spent the bulk of my time - not focused on the act of running for sport, but rather for the race day excitement.  There is nothing wrong with this, however it is time I face my fear and stop running (pun intended). 

No, I do not mean I am hanging up my sneakers.  Instead I am committing to focus on the run and getting back to basics.  2016 is about accepting me for who I am and determining to be better tomorrow than I am today.  For me this means clearing the running slate and improving from January to December. 

Commitment
Focus
Determination

The only way to achieve progress is one step at a time...

One piece at a time

It's been a while since I posted here - I'm going to blame the hub and the olympics. hehe

I know, not running to watch the olympics = not an excuse, but it is not entirely true...the hub went out of town for a week at which I was left with the girls until he got back. I must admit, it was nice taking a break, but at the same time thinking just how bad this would hurt my training.

Anyhow, the hub returned Late last Monday evening and so I returned to my previous training schedule on Thursday. It was rather an easy return because we were having a cookout/social fest after our workout. I did 4 sets of hills and then enjoyed some good conversation. Running while smelling the grill going...not fun. Running while knowing it will be waiting for you at the end...lots of fun.

So Saturday rolls around and I am switching up a week to make up for the previous weeks lack of running - ere go 16 miles scheduled for saturday morning. I head out early and join the group and we start to run. It isn't bad, it's cool and drizzily(5am) and we are slowly getting into the groove of it when half the group decides to head back and meet up with the other group while the rest of us continue on with our long run.

There is a mixed group of runners all about a 19-24 mile range...myself the shortest at 16. We keep running and at about 12 decide to focus on how we would end up at 19 back where we needed to be and where I should break off from the group. I volunteer to go the extra miles (seriously how hard can a few more be when I've got to go 16?) HA

I was delusional...at mile 17 I think I'm crazy, at 18 I know I'm crazy and at 19 I'm beyond crazy...but we over shot it a bit and by the time all was said and done I had completed 20. Now, I know it is no 26.2 (and my day will come for that one) but it is such a feeling knowing that I did it. As you can tell ... this is my longest run to date and knowing I can go this far makes 26.2 seem pretty tiny. I know, I know...the extra 6.2 added on top will probably send me over the edge, but hey - what would life be like if we didn't challenge ourselves?

Official Marathon

I'm back!! I'd like to finish the sentence with "better than ever" but the truth is it's more like "slacker is me."

I had a wonderful time on vacation - I didn't do any runs and yes, I missed it. I was going to pack my running shoes, but decided I would leave them here to save space. A few days into my trip, however had me standing at the shoe store looking for a pair of running shoes. I looked and looked, but did not buy. I passed them over in favor of my well worn, already broken in ones at home and decided I would take a walk instead.

Walk, I did. Lots of it as well as swim, so I wasn't a complete sloth, just a partial one. I've been back home now for a few days and I have been swimming in the afternoon after work. I try to squeeze in 30-45 minutes of laps (I'm working my way up to an hour+) before I pick up the kids, it's been working ok except I feel VERY tired afterward. I mean, by the time I've worked an 8hr day, gone swimming for 30 min, picked up the kids, cooked dinner and gotten everybody settled for the evening all I want to do is grab a pillow and snooze away. I guess in my own way I am already in a marathon! HA

Anyhow, I thought I would go ahead and mention it is official. I have been half commited but as of today, I'm 100% in. A while back, I made the decision to run a marathon. Ok, not just run a marathon, but run the St. Jude Marathon held in Memphis in December. This has been my goal I've been planning for and training for. I've mentally challenged myself and physically been preparing. The problem?? Well, I hadn't committed, I hadn't officially registered for it - even though I had planned to, nothing was official.

Today it is. I guess part of me held onto the idea I would get hurt or maybe even I wouldn't go thru with it, but nah...I've paid my entry fee and I've signed on the dotted line and now I'm on the roster. Yep, it's official. On December 6, 2008 - I will run (notice I did not say attempt) my very first marathon. I may be worse off by the time I get to the finish line, but I will make it to the finish line...eventually!

Nothing like putting it all out there to hold myself accountable huh?!

Rain or Shine

Well I finally made my lazy self get up and get another run in. Yep, you heard me, I fell off the running wagon after last weeks feat! HA Ok, so not really, actually I left town last Thursday and had 'big' plans to get my butt out and run while in Denver, but I quickly realized after walking around...I was not use to the air and got winded. (talk about making a girl feel out of shape?!) So I changed my plans and thought "I'll use the gym" but that didn't happen either. The good news...I did do a 24 mile advanced white water rafting trip that gave me a pretty good work out. Not so much the legs, but I could definitely feel it the next day.

Being back at home today I did the whole 'talk myself up' and work on convincing myself that I was going to run this afternoon (shouldn't be too hard, I usually do monday night training). Problem was that my stepson was arriving today and dad wouldn't be back in time for me to leave and get to the training site so instead I busied myself with getting the house ready and waiting for some relief from the horrible heat. (Yes, I cheated and waited until just after 7pm (after the thunder clouds started to roll in and the news channel issued a massive t-storm warning complete with flooding to go run) I so could have used this as an excuse, I even felt a little sick to my stomach, but I didn't...I ran. Seriously - ok, so I jogged a good 3 miles, drenched from head to toe in sweat, I could feel the heat radiating from my body, but by the time I got home I felt good.

Not just because I killed a few brain cells with the excess heat, but because I got out and ran instead of making an excuse and sticking around the comfort of the ac. This week we are adding in some additional swimming sessions along with the planned running so, we'll see how it goes.

Type A vs. Training

Patience is a virtue that I do not possess and I believe will prove to be my biggest pitfall in my running success. Why? Because of 2 reasons actually:

1) I see the end goal and focus on getting to that point (I want X tell me how to get there - NOW.)
2) I don't want to take the necessary steps to get there (if that step requires time) I want to know what I can do to get there in my own time frame (once again, NOW)

I have officially signed & paid for a coach to help prepare me for my upcoming Marathon. I did a couple of trial runs with the coach to see if I thought we would be a good fit and if I liked his style of training (of which I did) and decided to make this a more permanent thing. Afterwards, I was chatting with the coach about goals, training techniques, etc and I realized that we have different views. I'm not saying one is right and one is wrong (although it's been said that mine are closer to wrong) I just believe that I should be able to get from A to C and not necessarily have to go thru B.

Case and Point
I will be running the St. Jude Marathon in Memphis in December '08. This will be the first marathon I've ever attempted (hopefully not the last) and in the planning phase of this process I started doing massive research on marathons, training techniques, personal experiences of others, comments on the specific marathon etc. I have loaded my brain down with LOTS of information. My goals for this race are not only to complete it, but to complete it within 4 - 4.5 hrs. I've given myself 6 months to train and am willing to take the necessary steps to achieve this goal.

My coach has other ideas.

1. No time goals for 1st marathon (complete it then set time goals for next)
2. aerobic training (endurance) - not anaerobic training (speed) which translates into training for a marathon and not doing monthly 5k's. 3-no race challenges (I had planned to participate in a circuit run which consisted of each 5k, 5mi, 10k, 10mi, half marathon from July-November that he says will interfere with my training.)

My thoughts were simple - if I know what I want and I pay you then I am expecting to be told how to achieve my goals, not told that I only need to be running 3 days a week and my first goal should be to complete a marathon...SERIOUSLY?? I don't want to just complete it, I want to strive for something more...why can't I?

As posted before, the hub is well versed in coaching/training/exercise so I went to him to whine about not getting what I want and you know what...the hub totally backed up the coach. Talk about surprised (not that I didn't think the coach was right, but the hub wasn't keen on me having a coach) so now it is no longer me against the coach but now I am against the coach and the hub.

To be coach you have to be willing to be trainable and I agreed to try and be trainable. By default, my nature is to make nice and do what I want anyhow, but I really want to attain this goal so I think my best bet is to listen, no matter how difficult this may be. Only time and proper training will tell if the end result is what I want and I'll never get there if I don't start somewhere so I guess it all begins here.

The end is near...

Almost 9 months ago I started this blog as a way for me to express myself while I attempted to get back into running. My goals were simple, I wanted to run some 5Ks and ultimately after about 6 months I had planned to enter the St. Jude half marathon. Perhaps I had high hopes, perhaps not so much, but what I wasn't expecting is the birth of another child.

Yep, thats right, another baby. I did manage to train and make it thru a 5K meeting the beginner goals I had set for myself and I came away feeling exhilarated, rejuvinated, like there wasn't much I couldn't do. Funny thing was shortly there after, I found myself feeling as if I'd been run over by a MAC truck. I was seriously down for the count and thought I had just caught a horrible case of the flu. Eventually I got to the point I had to go to the Dr. and they "enlightened" me to the new bundle of joy who would be arriving later this year. I was excited by the news, but at the same time I was saddened by the idea that I would not be able to run like I had planned.

Because of complications with my first pregnancy I was concerned with issues so I walked and did minimal exercise in the beginning and now I am just waiting for the end. I feel disheartened by the approaching St. Jude Marathon--I really wanted to be apart of this, unfortunately my baby is due within a few weeks of it so, I don't think it is quite going to happen (wink wink).
Anyhow, looking back at the first post I still feel that excitement, but for a different reason. I am happy about our new addition to the family, but I am also happy that the countdown to the delivery has begun so I can once again look forward to the feel of running.

Beginner...again

Well this is day one of my running blog. I "blog around" most of the time but recently have dedicated myself to running and thought it might be a good idea to mark my pace and hopefully keep me on track.

I am not new to running all together...it is something that I was good at and thoroughly enjoyed growing up. I participated in track and field through out school and even enjoyed it for about a year following. Sometime after that however I found myself (as I so often hear) with a lack of time to continue and so it was put by the way side. Work had taken so much of my time that we I wasn't working I was exhausted. Eventually I moved to california and found running to be a great way to replenish my soul and invigorate my spirit. There was just something incredible about running along the pacific ocean, wind in my face, the sound of waves crashing behind that could rejuvinate my body and cleanse my mind. It left me with a sense of overwhelming power...like nothing was out of my grasp. In the end however the time came for me to move and so it was all left behind.

Fast forward a few too many years and one child later...I find myself searching for that same feeling and oddly enough turning to the one source I have always been able to find it--RUNNING! Yes that is correct, running is one thing that I can do for me...when everything else in my life seems to be out of control, running make it all seem miles away. The difference between today and what used to be is that running is no longer something I take forgranted. It is not easy, but it is rewarding. I still work a full week and now I have to juggle my family life too but I am finding that running is still my passion.

As for the beginning...again part that would be my first 5K in three years. I will admit that the cold weather kind of put a dampener on my running plans because I don't like the cold. I attempted to run on the treadmill and thought I was doing ok...but my first day back outside was...very unlike the treadmill. Needless to say, unless it is raining, I haven't ventured back indoors. Ultimately I joined the local runners club (as a way to motivate myself) and signed up for my 1st 5K to ensure that I did it. This past weekend was it...the Daffodil Dash and I succeeded in accomplishing my goals.

1) Survive/finish the race (check)
2) Complete race in 36min or less (check, 36min flat)

Yes, I know the goals were a little small for a 5K but hey what can I say...I was trying to be realistic. So yes I achieved them. I finished the race and I did it in 36 minutes on-the-dot. Now that being my starting point I am shooting for a decrease in time by 10 minutes over the course of the summer and I have hopes to run the St. Judes Half marathon in December. It seems like a crazy goal...a little far fetched in my mind, but I think there is plenty of time to train for it and pull it off. I am positive I can do and so over the course of the next few months we will see how close I get.

The lyrics to a song by Gavin DeGraw sum it all up for me...
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

~K