Learning to love...

...the run.

I haven't been here in quite sometime, but I'm dusting off the cover, turning the page and starting again.  Seven years ago I made the decision to run my very first (and only) full marathon.  26.2 miles seemed like such a daunting task that I penned my first entry here in hopes of marking my journey, of learning what did and didn't work for me and most of all, holding myself accountable. 

December 6, 2008 I completed the first running goal. 26.2 miles of excitement, fear, pain, mental struggle, elation and sadness marked that journey over the course of 6 hours.  I won't recount that story, but suffice it to say running and I have had a difficult love affair with running since that day.

I have run many races over the course of the last 7 years.

• Mud Runs
• Wine Races
• 1/2 Marathons
• 10Ks
• 5Ks
• Triathalon

But I have never run another 26.2 and I can honestly say that I do not have a desire to.  Part of me feels like a fraud...like an imposter because of it.  Regardless of how many miles I run, how many medals I hang on my wall, how many race bib's I tuck away, there will always be the elusive marathon that changed the way I view running, training and racing.

For all the work and effort I put into it and for all that I failed to attain in my misguided perception of beginning, I must admit that a passion for running and racing was planted and has continued to grow.  I have spent the bulk of my time - not focused on the act of running for sport, but rather for the race day excitement.  There is nothing wrong with this, however it is time I face my fear and stop running (pun intended). 

No, I do not mean I am hanging up my sneakers.  Instead I am committing to focus on the run and getting back to basics.  2016 is about accepting me for who I am and determining to be better tomorrow than I am today.  For me this means clearing the running slate and improving from January to December. 

Commitment
Focus
Determination

The only way to achieve progress is one step at a time...

Can't Keep Me Down

***Cross posted at CafeKel***

I've been training for the St. Jude Marathon and this past weekend I had a realization...I found a small crack in my plan for 'marathon domination' hehe

It's disheartening to wake up one day and realize my plan is flawed.

This past weekend I was supposed to run a 20mi long run - I get up and meet my running partner at o' dark thirty and away we go. It was a nice run, cool and not too humid, conversation flowed easily and the pace was comfortable. Nothing too out of the ordinary. 12 miles later(yes I shortened the run some), I get back to my car and realize me feet hurt, one more than the other. I don't think much about it - my feet are usually tired after a run. By the time I get home though (after a stop at the store for groceries) my left foot is really hurting, so I ask the hub about it.

Who better to ask than the man who is supposed to care so much about me (and the fact that he trained hard and has a degree in kinesiology doesn't hurt either) this man proceeds to tell me, something is hurt. GREAT - not what I wanted to hear, but I'm sure it's minor, nothing to worry about, we ice it and go on about the day. Monday comes and I head to practice, I run an easy 6 miles, my foot hurts still, but I manage thru the pain. Once again, I complain to the hub and as we ice it, he convinces me to visit the dr.

This is one of the joys of having a dr. at my disposal because all I have to do is call, make an appointment and I'm in. For minor issues, dr. appointments are a breeze - if its anything major...trust me, the government is going to run you thru the loops before they treat you outside their facility.

For me, I call, make an appointment, show up 24 hrs later, get x-rays and wait for the dr. to look at them. In all of 30 min the dr tells me that 'while he cannot see any problems NOW, that does not mean there are not stress problems waiting and I should stay off it for 3 weeks.'

HAHAHA

Are you serious? It's just a foot and if my x-ray says I'm good, then obviously I must be good, I think the dr. is crazy and decide I am going to play it by ear.

All this is fine except for that brief moment, while I was sitting there waiting for him to come tell me about the x-ray, I thought there might be something wrong that would get in the way of achieving this goal and I was sad. Just for a brief moment I saw what I wanted go up in smoke and it was hard to think I wouldn't see it come to fruition. I, however, was lucky enough that there was nothing major wrong, but not everyone is.

Life is just as random as an injury...one moment we are cruising along with our eye on the prize when something jumps out and derails us. It is easy for me to become so narrow sighted that I don't see anything else around...perhaps this was my wake up call to say "Hey - I'm still here, remember me? LIFE? Go for the goal, but don't forget, it can all change in the blink of an eye." For a brief moment, I was superhuman and nothing could stop me then just as quickly, I was a mere human who had limits.

I can't say I'm ready to be human yet...I still kind of like the sound of SuperKel...does anyone have that taken yet?

What battles do you fight when aspiring to be superhuman?

One piece at a time

It's been a while since I posted here - I'm going to blame the hub and the olympics. hehe

I know, not running to watch the olympics = not an excuse, but it is not entirely true...the hub went out of town for a week at which I was left with the girls until he got back. I must admit, it was nice taking a break, but at the same time thinking just how bad this would hurt my training.

Anyhow, the hub returned Late last Monday evening and so I returned to my previous training schedule on Thursday. It was rather an easy return because we were having a cookout/social fest after our workout. I did 4 sets of hills and then enjoyed some good conversation. Running while smelling the grill going...not fun. Running while knowing it will be waiting for you at the end...lots of fun.

So Saturday rolls around and I am switching up a week to make up for the previous weeks lack of running - ere go 16 miles scheduled for saturday morning. I head out early and join the group and we start to run. It isn't bad, it's cool and drizzily(5am) and we are slowly getting into the groove of it when half the group decides to head back and meet up with the other group while the rest of us continue on with our long run.

There is a mixed group of runners all about a 19-24 mile range...myself the shortest at 16. We keep running and at about 12 decide to focus on how we would end up at 19 back where we needed to be and where I should break off from the group. I volunteer to go the extra miles (seriously how hard can a few more be when I've got to go 16?) HA

I was delusional...at mile 17 I think I'm crazy, at 18 I know I'm crazy and at 19 I'm beyond crazy...but we over shot it a bit and by the time all was said and done I had completed 20. Now, I know it is no 26.2 (and my day will come for that one) but it is such a feeling knowing that I did it. As you can tell ... this is my longest run to date and knowing I can go this far makes 26.2 seem pretty tiny. I know, I know...the extra 6.2 added on top will probably send me over the edge, but hey - what would life be like if we didn't challenge ourselves?

Heat Sissy

In the words of Mark Higginbotham

Don't you be lame or iffy lest you become a heat sissy!

...in reference to the southern heat and training.

Back to Life...

"...Back to reality" are the words to a song originally released in 1989. These are the words that kept playing in my head as I headed out for a long run yesterday.

back to life back, to the present time
back from a fantasy

I had basically taken 2 weeks off from running, I had take one week off from pretty much everything (and played catch up with my alcohol consumption) and then I came back and started swimming but still no running. So starting out yesterday I had high hopes...yep, but it was short lived!

My first 15 minutes I felt refreshed and good. It's always hot and humid here, but yesterday was cloudy and on the verge of raining (it was sprinkling) and I thought it was a great time to run. I was starting to believe my time off had done me good when all of the sudden my brain kicked into overdrive and tried to convince me I was tired and sore and hot and blah, blah, blah.
That's right, 15 minutes into a LONG run, I began to think I didn't really want to do this and really just wanted to go back home.

I knew that if I could just get past this stage, it would get easier (it always does) problem is - I have to get there first! So what did I do to overcome this?? Hum...well...I talked to myself. I know this sounds retarded (you don't have to tell me that) but it worked. For the next 45 minutes I would remind myself (out loud so I could hear it) that I wanted this, I could do it, it didn't really hurt - it was all in my head. I went on and on (in 45 minutes you can get pretty creative.) Anyhow...it worked and I got thru it and was good to go for the next hour.

On a side note - yesterday I tried some 'tri-berry gu' - interesting stuff. I liked the way it made me feel, energy wise, however the taste, well, not so great. I'd squeeze it in my mouth and then choke it down with a drink of water. It's very GU'ish...thick and strange, kind of reminds me of GlUe...haha. I like the portability of it and like I mentioned - it does give me the additional boost when taking long runs so I won't complain too loudly. I just wish some of this energy stuff tasted better!

Does anybody have recommendations for energy products that have worked for them?

Breath in...

... breath out. That's the way we go, round and round again.

This week has been an exceptional week as far as weather is concerned. Both Monday and last night were much cooler than the previous weeks and I've found it easier to run longer distances. (It is possible that because I've up'd my running distance and actually have been doing it more consistently this could be a factor, but nah..I'm betting on the weather.)

Anyhow, yesterday was hills. The ever so tiring hills. A few weeks ago I started running said hills and found the few reps I did not quite so exhausting - now I've started running the longer sets and doing more reps...I am definitely tired afterward, but I digress.

When I started running yesterday I could feel the tension in my shoulders and upper back. It felt like I needed to pop my back and I was trying to do some stretches during my warm up to target this area. Not much helped (been a stressful week). I noticed as I ran that each breath I took seemed to be centered in my chest which would point out the tightness in my upper back. This got me to thinking. (ah ha...she does have a point to this story)

During our Monday workouts, Mark, has us do a warm up exercise that concentrates on breathing...specifically breathing from our diaphragm and not our chest. We put one hand on our chest and one on our stomach and breath - which one moves? If the stomach expands, you are breathing from your diaphragm, if not then you are breathing from the chest and not getting the full amount of oxygen.

I spent a good amount of my running focusing on this...breath in with my diaphragm - eventually it became second thought and I was able to do so without dedicated thought. What I noticed during this is that my breathing became more controlled and I could run better. By better I mean I didn't pant like a dog with short choppy breaths when I ran up the hills.

I wonder if this is something I've always done or if perhaps it is something that I've become accustomed to over time?

Group Running

Typically mondays are group running days and I like to post about the heat (gawd - is it hot here) or the rain (yes, it teased me yesterday during the early part of the workout only to leave me with more humidity than needed) but during the runs yesterday I noticed something.

You see, we had about 5 new people join the group and while Mark was spending time with them going over the techniques and form and other stuff I ran with a couple different groups of people. I've been coming to the group for a little over a month and like any group, there are people of all different speeds and they tend to group up, because of the good ol' south heat and humidity most conversations tend to gear towards the weather. Yesterday however, there were quite a few conversations about people dislike of running, or rather their dislike of running alone.

I have to say that this is a lot of the reason I started running with a group in the first place, so I like everyone else, like running with a group. What I think is odd is that running is really an individual sport. Rarely are there two people who run at exactly the same speed, usually one is pushing the other to be better and one is trying to be better.

Running is about determination - personal determination and motivation to do something just for me. If you run for fun, it is just that...there are no medals, no parties at the end of it, just you and your thoughts. There is no special equipment needed, no set times to do it, no need to reserve a place to run - just you and the road, maybe some tunes or perhaps your thoughts, but otherwise it is left up to you.

So why is it that people want to run but dislike running alone? If the alone part of it is hard, then why don't we choose a group sport? I don't have an all encompassing answer - obviously everyone is different, but I can speak from my view point.

Running is a release. It doesn't require much planning, it doesn't require any special training (unless you want to be competitive) and it's easy. Yes, that's right, running is easy. I'm not saying that a marathon is easy, but just getting out and putting one foot in front of the other is easy...baby steps, we've all got to start somewhere. The hard part comes into play day after day, especially when the heat or cold sets in, when the weather conditions are not ideal and it becomes easy to make excuses about how busy we are. The beauty of running is that no matter what...we can still do it-for as little or as long as we like.

Group running - that just brings us together with other people who are like us. Runners are a unique breed and no matter what level they will always encourage you to do it. For me, I may complain about the heat, the humidity, the amount of things I should be doing instead of running, but really I enjoy every minute I'm out there!

Hungry??

Yesterday was hills...the dreaded hills. Truth be told, the hills aren't so bad - I actually kind of enjoy the hills. I ran 3 sets of 4 hills and a 1 set of 3 hills with warm up and cool down included it was about 6mi. Tomorrow will be the long run of the week - I'm already dreading having to get up early on a saturday just to go run, but the alternative is running late and that is even more unappealing.

My point today is not so much the actual exercise as it is the hunger (or lack there of) after a work out. During my group trainings, I often here people discussing their eating habits and the need for a light snack after a work out much like yesterday. I hear people talk about how they are ravenous by the time they get home if they don't have some fruit or something. This got me to thinking about my own hunger. I've noticed over the past few weeks/months of running that I rarely am ever 'hungry' after a run. The longer or further I run the less I want food. I am typically thirsty beyond belief, but food...not so much. This goes for fruit or anything else light. I can eat half a bannana after a 6 mi run and it feels like I just put 5 lbs in my stomach.

This is really only the case after a long run at which due to the change in training has been at a slower and more steady aerobic pace as opposed to my faster 5K race pace. I was talking about this with some other runners and it was said that "perhaps my body is still burning my surplus of fat stores and that is why I am not hungry, where as in a race I am burning sugar and my body feels the need to replace this with food."

Hum...run slow, burn fat - run fast, burn sugar and be hungry. Maybe the coach has got a method to his madness after all.

What do you think??

Another one bites the dust...

....and another one down and another one down, another one bites the dust!

Yep that is how I feel right now (cheesy I know). I ran race #4 last night and can honestly say I felt good at the end. Last night was Zoom thru the Zoo 4miler, a bit longer than my usual 5k and I haven't been doing any major running lately so I was a bit nervous. I spent most of the day psyching myself out so that didn't help and I thought I was going to be sick prior to the race (and I want to run a marathon???HA)
Overall time was 47min - not great, but in a effort to do as my coach has requested, I took WAY more walk breaks to try and keep my heart within range.
Here's how it broke down

Mile 1: (9:16 min) I started out good, basically a pretty good jog, nothing fast at all (tried to pace myself). About half a mile into it I felt as if for sure I'd already missed the 1mi marker, there was no way this could be only the first mile. I kept on pushing, debating whether or not I would walk or just keep going. Finally I decided to take a 30sec walk break in an effort to play along with coach Marks training. Of course I still thought I had passed the 1mi marker so it was easier to justify...about a minute later there it was staring me in the face. Hum, is that possible?? My time seems faster than I thought it would be and I'm not moving that fast...maybe I should slow it down.

Mile 2: (21:32) This mile was the hardest of all 4, I felt myself tightening up and keep trying to focus on my breathing which was becoming short and quick. It is usually about here that my sides cramp up and I was trying to breath so this wouldn't happen. The breathing didn't get under control but my sides didn't cramp up either. It was about here that I started letting go of the anxiouty that I started the race with. I focused on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other - this was nothing new to a 5k.

Mile 3: (34:50) I felt like I had hit my groove. I was still taking 30sec walk breaks on a regular basis. This consisted of running 2-3 min with 30sec walk breaks. My muscles seemed to be fairly warmed up, my mind was empty, and I was focused. This mile felt good.

Mile 4: (47:00) It was about here that I thought "I can do this." I don't mean the 4 mi run, but the whole marathon thing. I was hot and sweaty, but generally I felt good. By this time my breathing was undercontrol and it was all about putting one foot in front of the other at this point. Legs and lungs felt good and I seriously thought I could have kept going beyond the finish line.

In the end I was happy to be finished. I am actually not feeling bad at all today from the run and I really think I should up my weekly runs. I realized that the further I run the easier it seems to get (I am finding my groove) and that I am overly nervous to begin the race with. If I focus on my breathing and letting my daily stress go then the run becomes easier (unfortunately it takes a few miles to get this to happen.)

Overall it was a good run - I'm not impressed or thrilled with my time but I tried to do what Coach Mark has asked and if I want his plan to work and I want to succeed at this I have got to try right?

Next race...Gibson Guitar 5k...yippy!

Race #3

Today I ran for Breast cancer research and awareness. I felt good running for this cause, I however did not have any heart in it. I don't know what happened, but last night I lost my drive to run this weekend. I was geared up for it all week, last night-not so much. I thought maybe I was tired and today would be better, but instead I struggled to get out of bed early this morning. I made it to the race, I got ready but all I kept thinking about as I waited for the race to start was how 'alone' I felt. In a place where I was surrounded by people all doing the same thing I was, I had no one to talk to, no one to motivate me or vice versa.

Running is an individual sport, but today it felt like an isolated sport. I guess what it boils down to is that I didn't run much this past week (1 day), my head was full of other thoughts and I've been wanting a running partner for some time now. Funny thing is I started back to running because it was something I could do that didn't require other people. Go figure how it would turn out!

Good news is that I ran another 34 min run today. As I said earlier my heart wasn't into it so I did more walking than last time which only gives me hope that I can bring that time down to closer to where I want to be...just step one foot in front of the others.

One more down

Today was another 5K for me. Number 2 actually for this year and I can say that I am SO excited and thrilled and fueled. It was a pretty crappy day...it has been gray, rainy and about 60 degrees outside. I decided that it probably was the best of days to get the girls out for a race so instead I went at this one alone.

It was odd. I felt very alone and almost out of place even though we were all there to run. I did a few stretches and then went for a quick run down the block and back - I noticed it seemed easy and my only thought was, wow...it's usually harder than this to get going. I generally struggle with the start of my runs. I don't know if I'm not stretched out enough or if it just takes me a bit to get into the groove, but today it wasn't like that.

The group heads for the start line and I follow. It's not a downpour, but it is steady rain. It's cool but it doesn't feel that bad...I think my lungs are probably going to burn after I start running, but I'll deal with that when I get to it.

Horn goes off and we are start the run. I round the first corner and start to head uphill...its a slight incline, nothing major, but this is my first 'encouraging pep talk.' (The crazy lady is at it again) Run, Run, Run...I hang in there for the first mile no stop. I hit the 1 mi marker and walk for about 30 sec, run run run mile 2 is a mix of running and walking, mostly running but a few 30 sec walks too. I'm finally heading into mile 3 and its all done but the crying.

At this point I'm soaking wet, my pants are sticking to me, my hat is dripping, my jacket is soaked, my shoes have been thru too many puddles to count and I'm starting to feel the cold. I've traded places with a guy in front of me a few times and it's here he finally starts to slow. I run along side and encourage him on...almost there, you can do it, come on! He's at it again as we fall into step to run the final bit.

We pass the last of the police lights, step up to marker 3 and start to pick up the pace. I don't have nearly the 'umph' left in me after this race that I had at the last one, but I've still got some left to give, so I kick it up a bit. I'm looking down the way, watching the time tick off when i realize we just crossed the 34 min mark. What?! Yep, that's right...I kick up with whatever I have left because by god, I'm going to cross that line before we hit 35min and I succeed.

In the end I crossed the line at 34.45 just 2 min under my last time of 36.59. I'm exhilarated (considering I didn't do much running this week) It may not be the best of times, but for me, it's just a reminder that we continued effort I can get to where I want to be.

The First Hurdle

The first hurdle in the road to success is beginning the project. I say this because so many times I say (and hear from others) that if I could just find the time to get started or I'll start this tomorrow, which inevitably gets prolonged until...forever. What I am most amazed at is that it is usually the projects I have only a half-hearted interest in that end up in this realm of my life, the other ones, the ones I really want to do, well they get started, just not always finished.

So the first hurdle for me, also the biggest, is acting on my desire to succeed. If I stop putting off until tomorrow what needs to be done today, I will be that much closer to my goal and one step closer to doing what I want to be doing.

This weekend was my 1st hurdle. I have been talking about 5k's for some time now and have been half-heartedly working out when I finally said 2 weeks ago that I was going to suck it up and just go for it. I signed up for the 2nd annual Daffodile Dash with the hopes of completing it under 40min. Yes, I know, that is quite a bit of time but I am factoring my post-baby body and lack of proper nutrition as well as lack of exercise (of any real value). Not to mention that I ran this race last year (with the same hopes in mind) and completed the race in 36min.

Sunday arrives and I get ready, a little nervous, but not bad. Once the race starts I hit play on my iPod and take the first few steps...not too bad, I can do this. about 6 min into the race my lungs start burning. Yep, it's definately gonna hurt today. Step after step, I keep telling myself I am that much closer to the finish line and I'll be better for it. Mile 1 gone, keep running, Mile 2 gone, just keep going, almost done now. I round the corner and head back into the park for the last mile. People are everywhere and I'm tired, but I'm also exhilarated by the idea that I am almost finished, I've almost completed the race. Mile 3 done, nothing left but the line...I can see it from here and somewhere inside I found the energy to run. Run faster than I did any of the other miles. I cross the line 36:59. I'm done.

Lessons Learned --
1) Once you start it's not so bad
2) I need to set better expectations of myself (40 v. 36)
3) Working out does not = good conditioning, working out right does.
4) My daughter ran her first 1mi fun run...excuses does not a good example make, but by taking the first hurdle head on, I know now the rest can't be far behind.