It's been a while since I posted here. I haven't stopped training, but do you ever have one of those moments during your training when it all becomes so routine that it starts to seem a bit too mundane to post about?
For me, at least, that is how I feel. I can read other runners blogs and laugh at their witty insights or their profound knowledge into what makes a runner tick, but when I run I just kind of exist. There are rarely funny moments for me to share, it's not very often that I have some type of mental break thru where the world (or my world at least) makes sense and so I feel like when I come here it's always the same old story.
I came.
I saw.
I ran.
I am still in training.
Running is an escape for me. Not in a bad way, but it is a few minutes (or hours) to just be who ever I aspire to be. No one asking me for anything or limiting my ability to achieve anything because of bureaucratic red tape...nothing standing in my way except for myself.
In an essence - it is a moment of pure joy and fear all rolled up into one. Possibilities are endless, limits are met only when the body says it's "had enough" and dreams never fail to be big. During a run I can do almost anything - and I feel great. Give it a chance and that string of hope I hold on to will turn into the rope that I use to hang myself when the day arrives to face the marathon head on and I fail to obtain what I set out to achieve. It's that paralyzing fear that sets in when my runners high wears off.
So what do I do? Do I come here and repeat day in and day out...I run therefore I am? Do I tell you my fears and hope that secretly I am not alone in this or do I do nothing? Perhaps I will do all three - most likely this will be my outcome, but for now...I'm going to just run.
What will you do?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Can't Keep Me Down
***Cross posted at CafeKel***
I've been training for the St. Jude Marathon and this past weekend I had a realization...I found a small crack in my plan for 'marathon domination' hehe
It's disheartening to wake up one day and realize my plan is flawed.
This past weekend I was supposed to run a 20mi long run - I get up and meet my running partner at o' dark thirty and away we go. It was a nice run, cool and not too humid, conversation flowed easily and the pace was comfortable. Nothing too out of the ordinary. 12 miles later(yes I shortened the run some), I get back to my car and realize me feet hurt, one more than the other. I don't think much about it - my feet are usually tired after a run. By the time I get home though (after a stop at the store for groceries) my left foot is really hurting, so I ask the hub about it.
Who better to ask than the man who is supposed to care so much about me (and the fact that he trained hard and has a degree in kinesiology doesn't hurt either) this man proceeds to tell me, something is hurt. GREAT - not what I wanted to hear, but I'm sure it's minor, nothing to worry about, we ice it and go on about the day. Monday comes and I head to practice, I run an easy 6 miles, my foot hurts still, but I manage thru the pain. Once again, I complain to the hub and as we ice it, he convinces me to visit the dr.
This is one of the joys of having a dr. at my disposal because all I have to do is call, make an appointment and I'm in. For minor issues, dr. appointments are a breeze - if its anything major...trust me, the government is going to run you thru the loops before they treat you outside their facility.
For me, I call, make an appointment, show up 24 hrs later, get x-rays and wait for the dr. to look at them. In all of 30 min the dr tells me that 'while he cannot see any problems NOW, that does not mean there are not stress problems waiting and I should stay off it for 3 weeks.'
HAHAHA
Are you serious? It's just a foot and if my x-ray says I'm good, then obviously I must be good, I think the dr. is crazy and decide I am going to play it by ear.
All this is fine except for that brief moment, while I was sitting there waiting for him to come tell me about the x-ray, I thought there might be something wrong that would get in the way of achieving this goal and I was sad. Just for a brief moment I saw what I wanted go up in smoke and it was hard to think I wouldn't see it come to fruition. I, however, was lucky enough that there was nothing major wrong, but not everyone is.
Life is just as random as an injury...one moment we are cruising along with our eye on the prize when something jumps out and derails us. It is easy for me to become so narrow sighted that I don't see anything else around...perhaps this was my wake up call to say "Hey - I'm still here, remember me? LIFE? Go for the goal, but don't forget, it can all change in the blink of an eye." For a brief moment, I was superhuman and nothing could stop me then just as quickly, I was a mere human who had limits.
I can't say I'm ready to be human yet...I still kind of like the sound of SuperKel...does anyone have that taken yet?
What battles do you fight when aspiring to be superhuman?
I've been training for the St. Jude Marathon and this past weekend I had a realization...I found a small crack in my plan for 'marathon domination' hehe
It's disheartening to wake up one day and realize my plan is flawed.
This past weekend I was supposed to run a 20mi long run - I get up and meet my running partner at o' dark thirty and away we go. It was a nice run, cool and not too humid, conversation flowed easily and the pace was comfortable. Nothing too out of the ordinary. 12 miles later(yes I shortened the run some), I get back to my car and realize me feet hurt, one more than the other. I don't think much about it - my feet are usually tired after a run. By the time I get home though (after a stop at the store for groceries) my left foot is really hurting, so I ask the hub about it.
Who better to ask than the man who is supposed to care so much about me (and the fact that he trained hard and has a degree in kinesiology doesn't hurt either) this man proceeds to tell me, something is hurt. GREAT - not what I wanted to hear, but I'm sure it's minor, nothing to worry about, we ice it and go on about the day. Monday comes and I head to practice, I run an easy 6 miles, my foot hurts still, but I manage thru the pain. Once again, I complain to the hub and as we ice it, he convinces me to visit the dr.
This is one of the joys of having a dr. at my disposal because all I have to do is call, make an appointment and I'm in. For minor issues, dr. appointments are a breeze - if its anything major...trust me, the government is going to run you thru the loops before they treat you outside their facility.
For me, I call, make an appointment, show up 24 hrs later, get x-rays and wait for the dr. to look at them. In all of 30 min the dr tells me that 'while he cannot see any problems NOW, that does not mean there are not stress problems waiting and I should stay off it for 3 weeks.'
HAHAHA
Are you serious? It's just a foot and if my x-ray says I'm good, then obviously I must be good, I think the dr. is crazy and decide I am going to play it by ear.
All this is fine except for that brief moment, while I was sitting there waiting for him to come tell me about the x-ray, I thought there might be something wrong that would get in the way of achieving this goal and I was sad. Just for a brief moment I saw what I wanted go up in smoke and it was hard to think I wouldn't see it come to fruition. I, however, was lucky enough that there was nothing major wrong, but not everyone is.
Life is just as random as an injury...one moment we are cruising along with our eye on the prize when something jumps out and derails us. It is easy for me to become so narrow sighted that I don't see anything else around...perhaps this was my wake up call to say "Hey - I'm still here, remember me? LIFE? Go for the goal, but don't forget, it can all change in the blink of an eye." For a brief moment, I was superhuman and nothing could stop me then just as quickly, I was a mere human who had limits.
I can't say I'm ready to be human yet...I still kind of like the sound of SuperKel...does anyone have that taken yet?
What battles do you fight when aspiring to be superhuman?
Monday, September 8, 2008
Getting back on track
Without jinxing it, I'm going to say I think my running funk is on it's way out the door. I won't say it is completely gone yet (I still think twice about going out for a run) but I am proud to announce that I did get all 3 runs in last week.
YIPPY!!
That's right - I ran on Tuesday (7mi) Thursday (8mi) and again on Sunday (12mi). I cannot however take full credit for these runs since the hub did push me out the door on 2 of the 3, AND technically I was supposed to be doing 20 on Sunday, but my running partner only needed 12 and I didn't feel like finishing up by myself, so instead I went grocery shopping on my way home.
I know, bad me...I do think this was probably a good thing since I did have to get up at 3:30am Sunday morning, so I could make it across town for a 4:30 run start (hehe..see I am hard core runner woman...hear me roar!!!) Problem was when I got home, I noticed my left foot was really hurting.
I thought it might just be because I had gone running and I was tired, but the more I walked on it, the more the bones in my foot actually hurt. So here I was, complaining to the hub about my poor foot discussing shoes when he decided I need to ice my foot. For the next hour I alternated my feet from ice to hot water and I must admit, he was right, it felt better. (It's just one of the things I love about him...other times it's utterly annoying when he's right about these things).
So, now I'm not sure what to think about this foot thing. My shoes are not that old (bought them in July) but after looking at them I am pretty sure these are built for sprinters and probably not so much longer distances. I'm thinking I will stop by Foot locker tonight on my way to my evening run and pick up a new pair of shoes to see how they work out. I am guessing it is about time for a new pair so they will time just right in the 'break in cycle' for my marathon rather than be on the 'worn out' end by the time I get there.
So, Happy Monday...I know I promised a Garmin review (it's still coming)...stay tuned to see if I get my new shoes or not...
YIPPY!!
That's right - I ran on Tuesday (7mi) Thursday (8mi) and again on Sunday (12mi). I cannot however take full credit for these runs since the hub did push me out the door on 2 of the 3, AND technically I was supposed to be doing 20 on Sunday, but my running partner only needed 12 and I didn't feel like finishing up by myself, so instead I went grocery shopping on my way home.
I know, bad me...I do think this was probably a good thing since I did have to get up at 3:30am Sunday morning, so I could make it across town for a 4:30 run start (hehe..see I am hard core runner woman...hear me roar!!!) Problem was when I got home, I noticed my left foot was really hurting.
I thought it might just be because I had gone running and I was tired, but the more I walked on it, the more the bones in my foot actually hurt. So here I was, complaining to the hub about my poor foot discussing shoes when he decided I need to ice my foot. For the next hour I alternated my feet from ice to hot water and I must admit, he was right, it felt better. (It's just one of the things I love about him...other times it's utterly annoying when he's right about these things).
So, now I'm not sure what to think about this foot thing. My shoes are not that old (bought them in July) but after looking at them I am pretty sure these are built for sprinters and probably not so much longer distances. I'm thinking I will stop by Foot locker tonight on my way to my evening run and pick up a new pair of shoes to see how they work out. I am guessing it is about time for a new pair so they will time just right in the 'break in cycle' for my marathon rather than be on the 'worn out' end by the time I get there.
So, Happy Monday...I know I promised a Garmin review (it's still coming)...stay tuned to see if I get my new shoes or not...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Wine-O in the Slacker Department
Yes, I realize it has been a very long time since I posted here. Yes, I also realize this blog is supposed to follow my training on my marathon....which is why I've been a bit absent.
*hangs head in shame*
I've been a slacker. There I said it. I'm not entirely sure how it happened but I'm betting it has something to do with a bottle of wine and a really crappy week at work.
All was going relatively well - not drinking, training, eating right was all coming along great. A few weeks ago I ran the longest distance to date (20 mi) and was feeling pretty motivated when it call kind of blew up around me. I woke up one day, went to work - had one of the crappiest days ever and I decided to forgo running (feeling confident that tomorrow would be better.) The next day was much the same and the next and the next. Then my husband (the wonderful man that he is) came home with a few (ok, more like 8) bottles of wine and boy, did it sound good when he offered me a glass. Sad to say...but it was all down hill from that point on.
The weekend rolled around and my long run was prolonged because I decided to drink and stay up late (20mi was not appealing at 4am.) The following week - I found more excuses not to go run despite my new gadget (Garmin Forerunner 305). I did manage to break out of my funk long enough to run 2 (yes, I said a measly 2 miles) and test this little bad boy out - but then it lay dormant once again. Next thing I knew the weekend was upon me, it was a holiday and I slacked off again for some more wine.
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Monday should have been a running day - it wasn't.
Tuesday - the hub decided to put an end to my slacking and demanded I go out and run 10mi. Ok...I will - I said to him, but 20 minutes later I had not left. I was putting dinner together, working homework with my oldest and just simply busy. Once again he said "YOU NEED TO GO RUN" and this time he did not stop until I gave in.
Run - well I went out for a run and I ended up doing 3.5 miles before I was hot and thirsty and when I came home for a quick drink I decided I rather liked being in the comfort of my AC. He took one look at my new 'tracking device' and said..."You need to go back out and keep running."
But..But...but...
I knew he was right, but I didn't want to. After some more chiding about 'how much progress I was losing by not running - I went back out for another 3.5 mi. I'm hoping it is enough to break me out of my funk - I only have 12 weeks until my marathon and I can't really afford to slack. So I will be better at posting AND training.
Oh yeah, stay tuned I've got a review coming of my new toy - I am very excited about this gadget (even though I am still testing all the features!)
Anyone else find that running funk? How did you break out of it?
*hangs head in shame*
I've been a slacker. There I said it. I'm not entirely sure how it happened but I'm betting it has something to do with a bottle of wine and a really crappy week at work.
All was going relatively well - not drinking, training, eating right was all coming along great. A few weeks ago I ran the longest distance to date (20 mi) and was feeling pretty motivated when it call kind of blew up around me. I woke up one day, went to work - had one of the crappiest days ever and I decided to forgo running (feeling confident that tomorrow would be better.) The next day was much the same and the next and the next. Then my husband (the wonderful man that he is) came home with a few (ok, more like 8) bottles of wine and boy, did it sound good when he offered me a glass. Sad to say...but it was all down hill from that point on.
The weekend rolled around and my long run was prolonged because I decided to drink and stay up late (20mi was not appealing at 4am.) The following week - I found more excuses not to go run despite my new gadget (Garmin Forerunner 305). I did manage to break out of my funk long enough to run 2 (yes, I said a measly 2 miles) and test this little bad boy out - but then it lay dormant once again. Next thing I knew the weekend was upon me, it was a holiday and I slacked off again for some more wine.
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Monday should have been a running day - it wasn't.
Tuesday - the hub decided to put an end to my slacking and demanded I go out and run 10mi. Ok...I will - I said to him, but 20 minutes later I had not left. I was putting dinner together, working homework with my oldest and just simply busy. Once again he said "YOU NEED TO GO RUN" and this time he did not stop until I gave in.
Run - well I went out for a run and I ended up doing 3.5 miles before I was hot and thirsty and when I came home for a quick drink I decided I rather liked being in the comfort of my AC. He took one look at my new 'tracking device' and said..."You need to go back out and keep running."
But..But...but...
I knew he was right, but I didn't want to. After some more chiding about 'how much progress I was losing by not running - I went back out for another 3.5 mi. I'm hoping it is enough to break me out of my funk - I only have 12 weeks until my marathon and I can't really afford to slack. So I will be better at posting AND training.
Oh yeah, stay tuned I've got a review coming of my new toy - I am very excited about this gadget (even though I am still testing all the features!)
Anyone else find that running funk? How did you break out of it?
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